Textbook Case
by Mellifluent89
Summary: Artemis Fowl II is sent to a public high school for his senior year. Pairing s are A/OC. Post-LC/Pre-TP. Rated T because there won't be anything mentioned that most high-school students aren't exposed to. Mild language. All props to Eoin Colfer, of course
1. Chapter 1

**Just a quick note: This is my very first fan fiction entry. I've been reading them for quite some time now, and have decided to write one. I would love constructive criticism, but please be gentle! My story ideas aren't for everyone, so if you think that Artemis going to a public high school is a bad idea, then just don't read it.**

**Holly and other faeries will appear in this story, but not as main characters. I wanted to play around with the idea of Artemis functioning realistically in a "normal" environment. Anyway, I hope you will enjoy it! :)**

* * *

Artemis Fowl II woke early, home in his bed. He gazed at his ceiling fresco for awhile, contemplating the horrible mess his parents had gotten him into. At his mother's request, they were spending "a couple of years" in the United States, so that Artemis could go to a public day school in New Hampshire. With girls. A year or two ago, this fact would not have even crossed his mind, let alone worried him, but now that puberty had set in, he was obscenely aware of any young, pretty girl in his vicinity, along with the fact that he was, in spite of his tremendous brain capacity, _not_ cool. At all. This worried him. He did not want to be the "geek" as he had seen in so many movies.

With a resigned sigh, he got out of bed, went through his morning rituals, and appeared downstairs in his usual Armani suit and loafers. Butler, who was preparing breakfast (eggs Benedict and French toast), cocked an eyebrow. "Is that what you're wearing to school?"

Artemis was annoyed. "Of course it is. Why else would I be wearing it? And, anyway, what else would I wear?"

"You _could_ wear some of the clothes your parents bought you for school," Butler said, shrugging.

Artemis frowned. "Butler. I would look ridiculous in anything bought by my parents, I assure you."

Butler sighed. "Artemis, I assure _you_, and I'm only looking out for your best interests, here; you are going to stick out like a sore thumb in that."

Artemis hesitated."…You really think so?"

"Yes."

He thought it over. He thought about the "geeks" in the movies getting stuffed into trash cans, because bodyguards were not allowed on school grounds.

"I suppose I could wear something a little more age appropriate." He disappeared up the stairs, and returned again just in time for breakfast, wearing a crisp, white button-up shirt tucked into a pair of designer jeans, slung low on his hips, put together with a pair of black and white Chuck Taylors. Butler was impressed. Except for one thing.

"Untuck it."

"But--"

"Just… do it, Artemis. I don't want to see you come home having had your head dunked in a toilet, or stuck in a trash can. " Artemis did it. The effect was tremendous. He looked…cool. Like the lead singer of a garage rock band. "Better," Butler nodded. "Where'd you get the Chucks? You look like one of those rocker boys that Juliet used to watch on MTV."

"Mother saw them in a magazine."

"Ah." They ate quietly. Butler figured Artemis must be dying from nerves, though the boy never even hinted at it. Finally, as Butler held open the door of the Bentley for him, he said, "Don't be nervous. You look _cool_. The ladies will love you." Before Artemis could respond, he had shut the door and was walking around to the driver's side. The youth decided to let it be, and take the compliment.

They arrived at Jamison High School exactly thirty minutes before classes were to begin, and, as Artemis left the Bentley to make his way to the office, he decided that was not nearly early enough. Kids his age were everywhere. Girls in short denim skirts, with glossy hair and nails congregated together on the steps, and boys in letterman jackets and Abercrombie jeans played football on the lawn. Artemis dodged a particularly sharp toss, and hurried up the steps.

~*~

The woman in the office looked harried and annoyed as Artemis fumbled up to the desk. "Um." _Um?_ he thought. _What is wrong with me?_ He gathered his confidence and plugged on. "My name is Artemis Fowl II, and I'm here for my schedule." It came out like a question. Artemis resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose.

The woman glanced up. "Oh, yeah. Um…It's here somewhere…ah! Ok. Here you go, and the student we got to show you around is waiting for you in that chair over there." She pointed behind him at the far wall.

Artemis turned, and his heart dropped. The girl sat in the chair with her legs crossed at the ankles and a slight frown on her face as she studied her manicured nails. She had dark brown hair, pulled into a perfectly messy ponytail, and wore a t-shirt, a vest, fitted jeans…and Chuck Taylors. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

She looked up at him (such brown doe eyes!) and grinned. "Hey! I'm Gabby." She extended her tiny hand, and Artemis took it.

"Artemis Fowl, the Second," he said as he inclined his head. She cocked hers to one side and made a face.

"Ok! Well, let me see your schedule." She extended that teeny little hand again, and Artemis placed his schedule into it this time. As it turned out, they had two classes together: Calculus and English IV. She showed him to his other five: AP Biology (apparently that was the ONLY AP class they offered), Gym (_Good God, help me_, he thought), Music (for his violin), Spanish, and Health.

~*~

"Well, see you later, Gator!" Gabby, the image of perfection, said as they parted ways at the first class of the day (which, for him, would be AP Biology) and Artemis waved lightly, staring after her.

A voice in his ear said, "She's a total bitch, y'know." Artemis turned.

"Excuse me?" There was a young man standing next to him, surveying him with interest. He wore loose jeans and a white t-shirt under a letterman jacket.

"And, she'll probably never even look at you again. Just sayin'. I mean, I _know _this because she's my ex-girlfriend. And, she's a bitch. So…don't get your hopes up, kid." He turned and walked into class.

Artemis stood there a second, processing what had just gone on. High school would be a bit more complicated than he thought, if strange people continued to engage him in random conversation like that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Again, all props to Eoin Colfer for his characters. He's a great guy, isn't he? :)**

* * *

Artemis walked confidently into his AP Biology class, which, apparently, consisted of five other students and himself. There were two twin boys with pale blond hair whispering to each other, a girl with black, square-framed glasses and fiery red hair that couldn't possibly be natural reading a book, and two other girls. One had hair that slightly resembled a skunk: platinum on top, with hair as black as Artemis' own underneath. The other had brown hair with blond…chunks? Artemis took an empty seat near the front of the room, shaking his head. No one spoke to him. Until the teacher arrived.

The teacher was a young-ish woman who pulled a backpack-on-wheels behind her into the room. _How quaint_, Artemis thought. _She is trying to recapture her youth through association, and, apparently, apparel and accessory choices._ He grimaced at her ensemble: khaki cargo pants paired with a t-shirt that read, SAVE FERRIS. To top it all off, she wore sneakers. _How dare she misrepresent educators everywhere? Ugh. The administration actually allows this?  
_

"Ok, kids. We've got a new student in here, as I'm sure you've all seen." She gestured to Artemis, smiling. "His name's Artemis Fowl, and he just moved here from…?" She trailed off, looking at him for some sort of guidance. There was an awkward silence in the room, while Artemis decided whether or not to actually give this addle-brained woman the attention she was asking for. Her smile eventually shrank to an expectant, nervous look. Eventually, however, he decided to play along, for his mother's sake.

"Ireland," he finally filled in, not bothering to glance around the room to see whom was concerned.

"So, Artemis, why did you move here?" the teacher asked, but seeing Artemis' expression, decided to continue on without waiting for a response this time. "Well, I'm Mrs. Taylor, and welcome to our AP Biology class. It's a little small, so there will be a lot of interaction, as far as class discussions, and things like that. Ok?" This time, the question was obviously rhetorical, and Artemis opened his book to the page she assigned.

~*~

Class went by rather slowly, full of open-ended questions and expectant looks, and Artemis found himself thankful for the loud, brash _brrrrrrring!_ that signaled the end of class. As he flitted out the door and into the hallway, he began to feel much more relaxed in his surroundings. Then something caught his eye.

The A-Typical jock that had confronted him about the beautiful Gabby earlier was standing in the hallway, arguing with the aforementioned girl. "Please, Gabby, just listen to me," he was saying. "I know that some of the things I did were a little out of line, but just give me another chance, please!" Artemis resisted the urge to roll his eyes. _How pathetic_, he thought. _He's completely convinced himself that this is perfectly acceptable to do. And look at her! She loves it. Really, this is just too much._ He turned to go, but then:

"Leave me alone, Bryson," Gabby retorted. "You had your chance, now get the hell away from me!" At that moment she turned dramatically, whipping her ponytail around, and spotted Artemis staring at them. "Oh, _hey!_ Artemis, right? How's your first day going?" she approached him with exaggerated enthusiasm, no doubt meant for Bryson to see. She touched his shoulder, expecting an answer, and Artemis' brain locked up again. _Hellfire_, he thought_, I can't bloody think. What did she just ask me?  
_

"Boring," he choked out. He mentally smacked himself. _Boring, _he thought. _That's not even a sentence! It's one word! Ugh. Artemis, old boy, you need to calm down. Breathe. Listen, she's talking! What's she saying?_

"Oh, yeah, I know, right? You're in all those 'smart' classes. Psh! I'm totally _not_ smart enough for AP Biology. But, whatever, right? I mean, I'm planning on getting a cosmetology license, anyway," she smiled that smile at him again, and all he could do was stare at her.

"I have class."

"Duh! So do I, crazy! Byes! Mwah!" she blew him a kiss and strutted down the hall, in a direction clearly visible to both Bryson and himself. _Totally deliberate, _he thought_._

He looked over at Bryson to see him shaking his head and turning to go. Artemis decided to work this over in his brain that night at home, and glanced at his schedule. Gym.

~*~

He walked over to the gymnasium, half-expecting, in spite of himself, a scene from a movie. Because of his nerves, he received quite a shock when his fairy phone rang on the way there. It was Holly, no doubt calling to check up on him. He ducked into an empty classroom, shut the door, and flipped his phone open. "Holly?"

"Hey, Fowl, I had a few minutes and thought I'd call and check up on you." He half-smiled at her perfect illustration of his suspicions; it gave him a strange sense of peace to see Holly's face in the midst of these strange switches between tedium and total insanity. "So, what's going on? Where are you? It looks like a school, or something."

"It _is_ a school, Holly," he sighed. "A high school. In New Hampshire. Mother thought it would be a good idea if I learned to function well with people my own age. It's my first day," the last part sounded an awful lot like whining, but he decided to just...forget it. Today was a strange day.

Holly looked as though she may laugh, but managed to restrain herself, and eventually said, "Well. Arty, that's...that's something." Artemis rolled his eyes to illustrate his feelings in regards to her response. "No, really! This will be good for you! I think I'll tell Foaly. He'll keep an eye on you. What school is that?" Artemis thought that Foaly keeping an eye on Artemis would definitely be more beneficial to Holly and Foaly than himself, but he obliged her nonetheless.

"It's called Jamison High School. Look, I've got to go, I'm going to be late for...gym." This time Holly did laugh. In fact, she was still laughing when she disconnected the line.

* * *

**Ok, so that's what I've got. Just an FYI: Gabby's not a Mary-Sue. I've got plans for her, so don't you worry. ;)**


End file.
